Plasters: about Healing

So, after a week and a half I’ve come to terms with the fact that I need some healing. Things got somewhat messy and due to my nature, things inside my head got messier than I would like. Shadow had been wandering around for some time and there are moments now when I feel like it’s clinging to my chest again. Another paid me a visit too during these last days. Yet I tried to convince myself that it wasn’t that bad just because I’ve been worse. Foolish me. I know it’s not a black or white matter. It’s true that I’ve been worse before, but that doesn’t mean everything’s perfectly okay right now.

Drawing is often like a therapy to me. After doodling my mind doesn’t feel as much messy as before and I can think more clearly. Drawing is also a way to vent my feelings and see them from the outside. And so it was that after some doodling that I finally came to terms with the fact that I might be not as fine as I tried to believe. I need some healing and that is going to take some time. Probably more time than I would like. I shall take this calmly. While this is obvious to me now that my mind is mildly clear, I know I can easily forget it when my mind is clouded.

Like I’ve said, drawing helps to clear my mind. Sometimes it works so well that it makes me doubt if I was feeling that bad to begin with. It took a certain kind of drawing to convince me otherwise. Recently I’ve come to think about it as if it was a wound. Drawing is a painkiller, and I’ve come as far as putting a tourniquet on myself and cleaning the wound. I might even bandaged it a little bit. At the moment it doesn’t hurt and I can walk. Nevertheless, a tourniquet doesn’t heal a wound, and it will likely hurt once the painkiller wears off. Fact is, as much as it doesn’t hurt at this right moment, the wound is far from healed. I need stitches and some rest for it to do so. That means being patient to myself, something that I still find difficult.

Why am I doing this? Well. I’m writing this because writing things down can help (specially when I’m thinking somewhat more clearly, as it can be a reminder for when I’m not). And I’m sharing this to let you know that I might be less active on here for a while. That doesn’t mean I’m going to be inactive, but still.

I also have a small hope that it can somehow help a little bit people to take the time they need to heal themselves, to not think that they don’t need (or even worse, deserve) healing just because their wound isn’t deep enough for them to bleed to death. If a wound isn’t treated, the most likely is it will worsen. The more serious is a wound, the longest it will take to heal, the more difficult it will be to treat it. So even if it is not a “so serious wound” take the time to heal it. You probably wouldn’t wait to heal a bleeding wound just because it isn’t that deep; don’t wait to heal your mind because “it isn’t that bad” either.

Take care!

Hope you like it!! ^^